I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I want a musical about memes.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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