wrigley field is MILF paradise
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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