some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
