Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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