Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
