Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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