I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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