last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
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why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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