drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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