Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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