No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
