Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
D3 body, D1 cock
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
