I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
