ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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