Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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