Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's blow job season.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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