guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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