trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize