If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
