I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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