I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
