he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
