Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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