U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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