God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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