Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
