Pregnant stripper...not hot.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
