I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
