You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
