idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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