Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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