Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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