Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
