your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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