I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
