I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I will pee on everything he values.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
