wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
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I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
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Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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