Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

i cant believe jose lima did steroids

(281): View more from Texas

apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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(850): View more from Florida

I mistook a propane tank for a keg.

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(404): View more from Georgia

No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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(352): View more from Florida

He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(740): View more from Ohio

i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.

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(205): View more from Alabama

After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds

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