What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
