you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
