Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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