8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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