i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
