After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
