hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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