google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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