she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
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