one two three fourrrrnication!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
