so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
