did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
