The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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