I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
