google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
