K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
