ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
