Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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