should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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