Your mouth is God's brothel.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
