If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
