i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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