Umm I'm too high to move.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
