ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
