i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
