im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You were trust falling into bushes
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize